Kanyadaan

as the shehnai and the dhols
fill the air with warmth, 
and the december dew
trickles down the faces,
of the turban-clad wrinkled faces,
of the musicians,
the heartbeats raced faster
by the moment,
and a neat drop of dew
rolled down the cheeks
of the kajal-decked little doll,
dressed as a bride today

as the shehnai and the dhols
fill the air with warmth,
and the flower-braided locks
bring a spring to the steps
of one and all,
it takes me back the memory lane,
when the little doll
with her groomed tiny ponytails
would sit before me
to pick a lesson of maths, or two,
her eyes innocent as a doe,
her mind racing like a rabbit,
and hands, like those of maa saraswati,
with a chirping in her tone,
no less sweet,
than the myna bird

as the shehnai and the dhols
fill the air with warmth,
an excitement....
an anxious excitement
swelled in her heart
for the tomorrow that's yet to come,
of hope, that's yet to see
the first rays of dawn,
and love, that awaits in a new home,
a missing, already growing
of the tender hands,
that have carved her until now,
with the love that she'd leave behind
in the hearts she'd called home

as the shehnai and the dhols
fill the air with warmth,
there's light twinkling in her eyes,
for the life that awaits her,
and a cloud of tears
of joy and parting,
that's waiting to burst,
in the eyes of those
for whom she'll always be ladli,
their ladli,
the same little doll, 
in the neatly-braided ponytails,
for whom she'll always be
the apple of their eyes

as the shehnai and the dhols
fill the air with warmth,
her bed has turned cold,
since the last time she enjoyed 
a nice cozy sleep,
her bed would miss,
every soul would miss her,
even her soft cuddly pillow would,
but they'd all be together,
lipping a whisper,
a prayer and a blessing,
for the little girl,
their little doll,
dressed as a bride today!




© sashikant mohanty

Serendipity

meeting someone somewhere,
at a place unthought of,
in the queerest of times and places,
could be an accident,
but meeting again, the same person,
in the eeriest of frames,
eons later,
can only be serendipity

meeting someone somewhere,
in the unlikeliest of crossroads,
could be an accident,
but meeting again, the same person,
after the chasms of time
and space,
after the universes had drifted apart,
can only be serendipity

meeting someone somewhere
and sharing the warmth
of the tea, the breaths, the souls,
and the feelings,
and then being thrown apart,
could be an accident,
but meeting again, 
in the weirdest of the mazes of life,
when distant memories had blurred out,
almost faded for one,
and still fresh for the other,
when the recent memories,
bring distant thoughts of healings to life,
can only be serendipity

meeting someone somewhere,
and sowing the seeds,
of hope of a brighter tomorrow,
of sunlight,
and of dreams,
and then being separated by storms,
could be an accident
but meeting again,
and meetings again, and again
at the crossroads of destiny,
healing the bruises, old and new,
makes one wonder if
crossing paths with someone somewhere
was at all an accident,
or serendipity

meeting someone somewhere
in the wild woods of the world,
and the meadows beyond,
could be an accident,
but meeting again, the same person,
seeking each other out,
and the meeting of the souls, again,
despite one's plans,
during each other's winters,
makes you wonder
if the one you met, eons back,
in the train of life,
and the showing up for that someone,
every time,
makes you wonder
if she is herself
serendipity!

© sashikant mohanty 

God Rolls The Dice

when destiny raked up the storms
and life seemed dangling
from the end of a broken rope,
and when you'd given up on life,
god rolled the dice
and our universes merged,
so did our souls

when destiny took the tests,
and living,
no, when existing
had robbed you of life, and the smiles,
when loneliness was your only friend,
when you'd given up trying to find feet,
god rolled the dice,
and our universes converged,
so did our souls

when the sunshine returned,
so did the smiles,
and the seeds bloomed
and the magic sprang to life,
under the sheets, in delhi's chill winters,
when hope thrived,
and you lit up my dreams
and our waves played in tandem,
and you watered them,
as pains turned sweet,
god rolled the dice,
and our universes drew together,
so did our souls

when destiny threw the rafts apart,
and our roads parted,
each endured the sufferings,
and a huge vacuum ballooned, for long,
it had a purpose,
for you to seek the light left behind,
for our paths to cross, and time would find,
how could you forget,
god rolled the dice,
and our universes had become one,
so did our souls

when destiny rocked your boat,
and you stood blank,
by your own side, none to lean,
wondering why this pain,
you shuddered at the thoughts
of what lay in store, 
and you shivered
even as the sun washed the room bright,
that january afternoon,
and the only path that you could see,
was the one you'd left, way back,
the one that led back to your soul,
and soon you woke up,
and the light was back,
as god rolled the dice,
and our universes melted again,
so did our souls

and, when your storms calmed,
and the raft that rocked and tossed,
in the choppy seas,
was mine,
with pains galore,
there wasn't in sight, a shore,
or sunshine,
and my feet kicked for a wall,
found none as i sank to bottomless depths,
as my days plunged into loneliness,
and the nights turned chill,
eerie, pitch dark,
as my helpless lips moved,
but without even a murmur,
and as my heart shrieked
for your mooring,
ah, you became the storm
how could you forget
when god had rolled the dice,
how the universes had conspired,
and the only thing i saw
was a familiar silhoute of you
fade away!

© sashikant mohanty

ये अलग बात है

ये अलग बात है कि

तेरी दुआ मेरे नसीब न थी,
पर ये ज़रूरी था क्या
तेरी बद्दुआओं से मुझे सजनी थी?




© शशिकांत महा॑त

Memories of Smell

you may deny me the pictures,
of the thawing of the ice,
and the merging of your river in my sea,
but can you take away the memories,
we crafted together?

you may stop me from
hearing the music of your voice,
you may deprive me of the soothing chirping
of your silence,
but can you rob me of the memories, 
of our shared souls?

you may prevent me of
seeing your smiles and your joy,
every day,
and hearing the whisper of your sigh of relief,
every so often,
and the murmurs of your heartbeats,
every moment,
but can you ever run away from
the memories of the smell,
of my presence?





© sashikant mohanty

The Universe Conspired

yes, the universe conspired
to help me find you,
and the universe
has not been the same, ever since

yes, the universe conspired,
when in the eeriest of times,
it was moved by unwavering emotions,
the sacrifices and the endurance,
it's not been the same, ever since

yes, the universe conspired,
when in the unlikeliest of situations,
it thawed your ice,
and let the impossible unfold,
it's never been the same, ever since

yes, the universe conspired, 
to guide you to find me again,
to make my universe
complete,
and it's changed for good, ever since

yes, the universe conspired, of course,
to let the paths cross again,
and again,
and our souls merged, to not part again, 
to make you my universe, ever since!




© sashikant mohanty

Truth

truth is like a shadow,
and will always be around you,
either you follow the shadow,
or the chased one is you,
no matter how large the web,
you spin around you,
no matter how much dark
you keep creep into,
or how long you spend in the dark,
light has its way
to make its way to you,
and then your shadow will be
right before you

truth is a mirror,
the one, the only mirror of the soul,
even if you break it,
into a thousand pieces,
each splinter will show the real you,
even if you run away,
you'll run into another,
you just can't stay away from it
for long,
often in spite of all you plan,
the mirror will bounce everything back,
in strange, eerie ways,
oftentimes by people you think your own,
like oftentimes you did to them, that called you own
and swallowed every poison for you,
and stood like a rock
right before you

truth is like your pillow,
the one to go back to every day,
that you need for your head to rest,
and when you go back,
every night,
it plays before you, dances frames
and you'd cry and shriek, in pain,
with nobody else to see,
wishing many things weren't they were
but not have a choice,
as tears roll
as numb eyes stay open for hours,
and the mirror plays out the frames,
how you did to those
who treat you their own,
and at what you gave back in turn,
as the mirror is the closest,
right before you!



© sashikant mohanty

Moving On

you may feel

the path we tread,

our shared memories were a myth,

but what will you do

when the dreams come back every night,

those, that we saw once,
lying, arms locked and breaths in tandem,

weaving our shared dreams 

together?

you may not feel comfortable

to hold my hands, anymore

them wrapping your shoulders,

but can you wish away

your memories

of me rubbing your hands

freezing with the fear of the parting, 

and of delhi's chill?

you may move on,

not concerned
of how my world comes crashing,

like did once, many moons back,,

but could you let go of the memories

once imprinted in the sheets of hope? 

can you move on from

the unnumbered frames,

unerasable, indelible 

etched deep in your soul,

when you couldn't move on from the memories,

despite finding sunshine again?

you can call me a stranger again,

can you call it history,

the way you'd say, i made you feel,

the unsaid words,
the god you said you saw in me,

the messiah and the messenger and all,

when the storms rocked your world

when the tsunamis brought you back

to the ajnabi, 

when all you needed
was a chest to put your heavy head to,

a soul to trust,

and a willing pair of shoulders,
for your numb frame

to lean on?

you may not need me, anymore

but can you forget the smell of memories,

of unconditional love,
ever,

of our banters, in whispers

and the loud silences, 
in between,
of the smiles and the tears,

between our eyes,

when you are alone,

sleeping by yourself,

or seeking warmth

on a different pillow?

© sashikant mohanty 

Is Your Heart Ticking Still?

if my pains don't move you,
nothing ever will
if my words can't melt you,
my silence never will
if ​the unsaid word couldn't touch your heart,
nothing ever did or will​,
if my tears don't ​make you rush to see me,
my ​nothing ever will
if ​y​ou couldn't hear the fading beats of my heart,
nothing ever will
if my trust couldn't wake you​, and yours up,
nothing ever will

if seeing and feeling my truths
​don't let your truths flow,
what else will?
if my belief didn't inspire yours, honestly, forever
what else of anyone will?
if my blessings and prayers
don't make you bow with closed eyes,
what other gift from the gods will?
if my love couldn't thaw your heart,
what else will?
if my lonely existence doesn't tear you up,
​wonder if my death ever will?

​if my wait was not enough,
what more will?
if my suffering doesn't let the tears,
gush deep within you,
what other will?
if my eyes didn't let yours to speak,
what else ever, truly, will?
if my endurance couldn't keep you awake
or make you want
to snuggle against my chest,
what else in the universe will?

if after seeing me,
the ebbs and the flows,
the hands that held yours,
and the lips that prayed,
the heart that beats and cries for you,
the soul that longs to unite again with you,
when you can afford to unsee,
are your eyes breathing still?

if after seeing god - in flesh and blood,  
after the heavens melted
and blessed,
once the streams
of tears and joys overflowed,
after the river traced the barren sands,
and turned me into the sea,
and the surreal flowed, for you to see,
after your hands felt the creases on mine,
and your hand let mine feel the murmur of your heart,
after your eyes saw my scars,
and your wrinkled lips found my cheeks,
and the mind-numbing moments,
​when my thought doesn't get your heart
to skip a beat,
are you sure 
your heart is ticking still?




© sashikant mohanty

I'll Trade Anything For Your Smile

i'll trade my tears,

for the sparkling smile,

in your eyes,

and the smile

cracking your lips,

the shy blush,

and you

i'll trade my life,

my sleep, 

my peace,

my happiness,

my fame,
and my diamonds,

all, for your chirpy smiles,

the smile studded face,

and you

I'll trade my heart,

and my heartbeats,

the bright sunshine,

and the star decked sky,

the windy beach,

the breezy evenings

and even my breath,

i'll trade my anything,

for your infectious smiles,

your silent whispers,

and the nothings in between,

and you!

© sashikant mohanty 

Tears

how strange,
the life of tears,
that they flow from the eyes,
but what feels lighter is the heart,
so what if some people don't get it

how eerie,
the thing with tears,
that while they are shed,
and yet, they are never wasted.
so what if some people don't get it

how funny,
the feelings with tears,
the ones that roll for one's own pain are sad,
while those for others light up souls.
so what if some people don't get it

how deep,
the reach of tears,
they may trickle down one's cheek,
but they melt the hearts of the loved one.
so what if some people don't get it

how profound
the nerves of tears,
that however small they may seem,
they do the job that a million words can't.
so what if some people don't get it

how sharp,
the ear of tears,
deep somewhere, as the storm wreaks havoc,
and far away, a tsunami oozes and tears apart.
so what if some people don't get it 

how powerful,
the force of tears,
here, as the soul bleeds,
and there, a volcano erupts.
so what if some people don't get it still!




© sashikant mohanty 

Your Silence Is a Volcano

my feelings,

for you,

are like the gloomy night sky

dark, and lost:

if you're not looking at me,

i am awake and yet a vacuum,

like the sky studded with stars, galore,

if you gaze keenly into me,

you let my lips curl up into a smile

like the stars that twinkle, 

and rekindle hope

my love

is like the universe,

that you can't see,

and still is always about you,

you don't realize

and are ever-expanding,

an art of god,

and yet, an act of serendipity,

unseen, or unfelt,

yet keeps coming back in 

different avatars,

that grows, endlessly,

and rekindles hope

your love,

is like the waves,

that calmly

wash my shores,

and still, go back,

every time,

only to return again,

every single time,

stronger,

to reach farther, and deeper,

into my shores,

only to wash away the ground

below me,

draw me deeper in you,

and carry me back with you, endlessly

and rekindle hope

your silence

is a volcano,

that keeps watch over me, 

still as a rock,

calm outside,

and yet brewing the lava,

within,

enduring the chilly breeze,

the scorching sun,

and the mighty storms,

but melting a tiny bit, up within,

unseen to anyone,

until that moment,

when you'd finally erupt,

spew the lava of love

into the skies,

with unmatched passion,

and let go of the silence,

with pangs of missing,

with warmth to make up for ages,

and wrap me in your hugs, endlessly

and rekindle hope

eternally again!




© sashikant mohanty

If Loving Is Tough

if loving is tough,
don't deprive me of the corner
in your thoughts,
don't deprive of the home,
in your heart,
don't crush the nest of twigs,
that i had built,
only to ring in warmth in your life,
don't distance me
so much,
that i'm forced to give up on life,
before life gives up
on me

if loving is tough,
spare me of the illusions,
being the chosen one,
of the tender feelings,
you sow in me,
and you once saw in me,
of the tears and smiles,
that makes my heart bleed,
spare me of the way you feed
my dreams, my hopes,
and me

if loving is tough,
don't, at least, hate so much,
that your wishes feel like curses,
that living doesn't get a chance,
in my world of existing,
that desire to live and be loved,
fades away from that moment on,
every moment, every day
from me

if loving is tough,
why not snap the umbilical cord,
that you said, once bonded us?
can you let go of the soul strings,
of our shared soul,
can you let go of
the smiles we shared,
and of the shared memories,
can you ever let go
of your prayers for me,
again?
can you let go of the thoughtful acts,
and of my happiness,
of god who brought us back
together,
and got our paths to cross,
can you stop believing in my prayers,
that you once believed deeply,
can you let go
of my longing eyes,
again?
if loving is tough
why is it that you just can't let go
of me?






© sashikant mohanty

You're The Only One

you're the first one
the only one
to cross my mind
when the lights go out, here,
and, the dark clouds pull up,
the gusty storms wreak havoc,
swaying the trees,
the winds gushing through
my balcony grills,
and,
when the sky starts pouring,
as if missing
someone too dear, too far,
clenching my heart and promising,
you're still the first one i am missing,
the only one,
i'm thinking of,
how safe would you be
without me

you're the first one,
the only one
to latch on to my mind,
all night,
when sleep plays hide and seek,
and everything else around is chill,
and, the wind creeps
through the gaps in the doors,
and crashes against the window panes,
and,
the quilt fails
to keep me warm,
there's a strong craving,
that oozes from somewhere
deep down,
i can't say for sure,
if they're memories or dreams,
or my fleeting thoughts,
but whenever everything is still,
and chill, and lonely,
and i feel my heart is slowing down,
when my heart is sinking,
and my body's turning chill,
and the ticking of the clock
is loud,
as if the only sound you could hear,
you're the first one i'm longing for,
to be wrapped around,
to make me feel warm again,
you're the only one
i'm thinking of,
fading and sinking,
a thought flashes in my flickering senses,
how safe would you be
when i'll be gone!




© sashikant mohanty

Unborn Thoughts

 

our feelings are deep, sweet,

deeper than the deepest oceans,

steeper than the tallest mountains,

deeper than listening to the unsaid words,

as deep as the unborn thoughts,

and more

our feelings are deep, my sweet,

deeper than skin thin,

deeper than the lips that wore my lipstick,

deeper than the depth of your eyes,

as deep as the shared souls in us,

and more

our feelings are deep, my sweet,

deeper than the dreams we saw,

deeper than the hopes, we've watered together,

deeper than the nights, we couldn't sleep,

away from each other,

as deep as the intimate prayers, whispered,

as deep as could shake the gods,

and more!

© sashikant mohanty

Waiting

 waiting

for the birds to turn home

for the last sundown

for the chaos in the skies

orange, grey, blue and burgundy

for the calming of the nerves

and the trumpet of conch shells

and to draw the curtains on another day

waiting

for the clouds to break up,

for the smell of earth,

for the call of the crickets,

for the smell of incense sticks,

and to draw the curtains on another day

waiting

for the smell of ginger tea,

for the settling into the balcony chairs,

for the cool wafts of summer evenings,

for the lazy moon rise,

for ushering in the dreams, once more,

and ringing in one more endless night 

© sashikant mohanty 

Naked

come when you're ready
to be naked,
of all the untruths,
of the pretenses,
of the made-up modesties,
of all the egos

come when you're ready
to be soaked in me,
come when you don't hold back,
come when you are you,
no layers,
come when you don't bother
how naked you are,
before me

come when you're willing
to give up everything,
to risk being disowned,
to own up the path,
you once disowned,
come and let your hair down,
to let the warmth flow
to let heart overflow,
through your eyes
to feel god again

come when you're ready
to be fused with me
come when
not only when the tides
rock your boat
and your world,
but when the breeze
fills your sail
as well

come when you don't bother
how naked you are
and can't wait to be my world,
come when you're ready again
to be where
you belong

come when you're ready
to be naked before god,
to let go of the disdain,
when your heart is pure,
and filled with the naked truth,
come when
you can shed fears and tears,
again

come when you care to feel
how naked i have been
how truth rolled from my eyes,
how my life has flowed
to become yours,
when you can see how
my naked eyes
have longed to meet
your naked eyes,
heart,
and soul




© sashikant mohanty 

  

Broken

a broken cabinet
a damaged door knob,
a slipping fan regulator,
a broken vase,
a missing cup from a set,
a creaking pull-up book rack,
a dented kitchen slab,
a cracked bedroom mirror,
and not a chip of regret

everything that could break in life
is broken here,
a lost trust
a broken relationship,
a broken everything,
a shaky belief,
a wasted life,
a silenced soul

© sashikant mohanty

Tonight, The Winds Are Quiet

tonight
the night is pitch dark,
voider than void,
darker far than
any new moon night,
there is none i can see,
maybe,
none i'm looking forward to,
for nobody is waiting tonight,
none ever waited,
to meet,
to listen to,
and be listened to,
to talk to,
and be talked to

tonight,
the winds are quiet,
as if they've stopped breathing,
not a blade of leaf stirred,
even the murmur of breath
has got quieter,
everything's so still,
it's not cold,
yet,
but it feels like,
it feels, and smells like death,
am i close to home?
a thought flashes
as a rare waft pats my cheeks

tonight,
she's not looking for me,
she never really did,
maybe she did,
and not let me know,
or,i dreamt that way,
for years,
and hoped, and prayed
even believed,
stronger by the day
lately, 
several hundred nights
when her thoughts,
and her dreams kept me up,
while she slept,
i liked it that way,
the way she sleeps,
like a baby,
but tonight,
my head is hurting,
eyes heavy, too 
and my heart - tired,
mind unusually numb to wander,
or feel,
and it's my turn to sleep
for long,
for ever, maybe!





© sashikant mohanty

Connecting The Dots Forward

when the columns of cloud
pull over you,
when the tsunami of tides
throws your world apart,
when the heart overflows
through your eyes,
count god in,
and embrace
an unwavering belief
to connect the dots forward

when the broken roads,
shift to form a bridge
so the rocky ride
becomes smooth again,
when the blessings pour in
through a path
left long back,
it takes a sleepy conscience,
to connect the dots,
but it takes unshaken belief,
to connect the dots forward




© sashikant mohanty

If Not Always

the waning sun
keeps waiting,
for your rainbow of love
to splash across my horizons,
but fails to notice
the moments
when you sprinkle those drops
tiny few to soak my soul,
if not always,
every day

the wet sands of time
keep waiting
for you to drown me
in your passion,
for your hands to wrap
tight about me,
for you tug me along
into your deep seas,
but fail to see
the flash in your eyes,
brighter than the golden moon,
tossing off the seas,
sometimes,
if not always,
every day

the untiring clock
keeps ticking along,
waiting to see
your timeless hug,
one day,
and then, never let go,
but fails to notice
your unbatting eyes,
your uninterrupted listening,
your unlettered thoughts,
your unfettered warmth,
your unwavering love,
that, like a harness,
feigned i was free,
but held me from falling,
every time,
if not always,
every day!




© sashikant mohanty

Too Close To Be Far Again

the missing breaths
when you're not around,
is my love,
the void -
you leave me in
is an insane craving for love
in all the myriad ways
you've let me get used to, again

the knots in my stomach,
without you,
or, sometimes even with you,
but looking away,
is my love;
the vacuum around,
is also longing for your love,
for the feelings
you've sown,
and the missing
of the dreamy eyes
that fed strength in mine
is my love as well;
when will you know -
how strong the wish,
to rush back to you again

the thought of distance,
scares me
the fears of whether
my thoughts still occupy your heart
sends chills down my spine,
but how can i complain,
after all the drizzles
you have showered,
after you've soaked my heart,
and fused
with my soul again?

as our eyes met again,
they locked, they paused a moment
as if to ask,
where were you so long?
your eyes rang in memories,
so intimate, yet so distant,
your eyes were volcanoes
as they held back the lava of tears,
lest i know how lonely you were, too,
as you wiped away my pains,
and straightened my wrinkles,
as you let your warmth seep through,
and you let the drizzle soak me,
you're too close to be far again!




© sashikant mohanty 

My World

it's a long time
i heard those precious words
and felt your deep thoughts,
in ways, the world expresses love
but you've always stood apart,
as you touch my soul,
like none else ever did,
every moment,
every time,
every day

you'd pick the gifts
thoughtfully,
lace them with thoughts,
like none else,
your expressions are
often wordless,
but for the glimmer of a smile in your eyes,
invariably deep and boundaryless,
deliberately quiet,
maybe, i wish i knew,
for words only draw limits,
but in your quiet,
you tell so much,
that echo in my soul,
and ring in emotions, 
priceless

you're from a different world
you are my world,
come back,
as i long
to hug again,
to be hugged tight,
until you let me...
any closer!




© sashikant mohanty 

Tears Are Mine, But The Sobs Are Yours

today too, my heart is heavy,
but it feels different heavy,
the tears that oozed
are mine,
but the sobs
are yours

today too, my heart has fears,
but they are not for myself,
the eyes laced with wrinkles
are mine,
but the pain
is yours

today too, i asked god for you
but they were not for myself,
the soul that bleeds
is mine,
but the worries that i prayed for,
are yours



© sashikant mohanty

Morning Dew

you're the infant sun,
that ushers in the dawn
of hopes,
and the first rays of belief,
that darkness isn't here to stay,
forever

you're the morning dew,
that calms my senses,
and melts
my heart,
and casts a spell
of unseen divinity,
and sows seeds of belief,
that you were awake,
and keeping watch over me,
silently,
while i'd been sleeping

you're my morning prayers,
that i lean on,
with an unwavering faith,
that you'll clasp my hand firmly,
as i start another day,
another journey,
another life,
that i am not alone,
and you'll never leave me alone

can you not be my morning tea,
and spring life back into me,
instill warmth,
in my gut, 
the moment you touch my lips,
and distill strength,
in my hopes, dreams, and soul,
with every sip,
in every breath,
every day!




© sashikant mohanty

There's No Going Back

when the hands

pressed my head,

unasked,

they didn't just wipe the pains,

gathered over the eons,

they filled the unfathomed vacuum,

of the years,

when the head

bowed 

and the folded hands

met my feet,

they didn't just mean thawing

of your frozen heart,

they didn't just stir my spirit,

they soaked and merged our souls

after countless years,

again!

once the ice melts,

there's no going back from there,

it becomes the unstoppable stream

when you penned the verses,

and ran out of words

you didn't just lend words

to your sealed thoughts,

you lit the flame of hope,

and became the wind beneath my wings,

when you prayed quietly,

for my pains,

and placed your tired hands,

on my head and chest,

you didn't just give me a nest,

in your wishes,

but opened your heart,

to me, 

unguarded again,

once you drew the blanket over me,

there's no going back from there,

it fused our bodies and paths forever

when the words flowed

with gratitude,

when the unsaid words,

were felt,   

in the quiet,

they didn't just speak volumes,

they meant a drizzle,

for a parched earth,

when the tears flowed

unguarded,

and your tired and heavy head,

rested against the strong shoulders,

and found a willing, a seeking chest,

they didn't just mean melting

of hearts,

they spelt unrelenting trust!

once the river pours into the seas

there's no going back from there

it just becomes the sea

© sashikant mohanty

Counting My Nights

i keep counting my nights
when the moon 
will cast your shadow on me,
when the breeze
will heal our wounds,
when the drizzle
will soothe our soul,
when you seek my presence
to usher in warmth to your world
when i can find me back
in your eyes,
again

i keep counting my nights,
when you'd be standing at the door, 
draped with hope,
when with excitement in eyes,
your hands 
would wrap around me,
when your overflowing eyes
would unleash a tsunami in mine,
when you speak
with a priceless silence,
from an unmatched closeness,
that only our hearts
could hear
again

i keep counting my nights
when the only fragrance i smell,
other than you,
is of the piping hot ginger tea,
when my heart finds a lease of life,
when your fingers are locked in mine,
when you sit by me,
shoulder leaning on the other's,
as we watch the birds
feed each other from their beaks,
when you don't utter a word
yet share the stories,
we shared,
and the epics we missed,
when we let silly nothings
become a habit,
again

i keep counting my nights
when we pick our stories
from where we left,
when the days would be short
for the nights to be long
and endless,
when the dreams
come unto life,
when we lose ourselves,
together,
to never part,
to be alone,
never again!






© sashikant mohanty

You Become You Again

it's my turn to stay up, tonight

so you let your hair down,
the way you would
then,

so you can breathe easy,

and sleep like a baby again,

so you become you again

give me your worries, tonight

so the smiles come back,

to where they belong,

so you can find bliss,

and your heart finds its due,

so you become you again

let me know your prayers, tonight

so your lips can rest,

your heart doesn't wear out,

your wishes are blessed,

so your dreams come to life,

and i can thank my god,

so you become you again

share with me, your beliefs, tonight,

so i can lower mine into the soil,

you can toss a handful of soil, 

so i can see you fly,

as the smiles return, when i die,

and to another world, my soul can fly

so you become you, again

© sashikant mohanty 

Never Enough

there can't be limits

for loving,

there are no boundaries

for kindness,

there can't be conditions

for truth,

there is no room for buts

after gratitude,

there can be no ends

for prayers

there can't be enough nights

for the unlit dreams,

there can't be enough life

for the moments of eternity,

there can't be enough moments

for the unshielded passions,

there is no shelf life

for memories,

there can't be enough waiting

for withheld emotions,

there can never be enough reasons

for giving up,

there can't be giving up

for craving hearts,

there can't be enoughs 

for the endless

there can't be ends

for cherished beginnings,

there is no room to reunite 

for the inseparables,

how can there be any distancing

for the merged souls?

© sashikant mohanty

How I Wish

you are so firm
and resolute,
with hate,
how i wish
you had the same blood,
the same unrelenting nerves,
the same passion,
and had walked across
the road,
when you were in love,
with me

you always wanted
to repay my gifts,
deed for deed,
cent for cent,
how i wish
you were
as resolute,
and committed,
and as thoughtful,
in repaying my love
to me,
in part,
if not full



© sashikant mohanty

I Am The Moon

i am the moon
that you'll miss, 
when i fade in the dark
like on dull moonless nights

i am the winter's sun
that you'll long for, for warmth,
when i'm hidden in the morning dew,
like on the chill windy days

i am like the spring's bloom
that you'll long for,
when i’d reduce to twigs
like over the autumn months

i am like the stream
that you'll yearn to flow again,
when i'd freeze to still,
like the icy rocks in the hills

i am like the smile
that you will long to return to life,
when i finally give up hope,
like the still image on the wall

i am like the love bird
that you'll crave, but never hear again,
when i crumble into an ounce of soil,
like when you are cut off from your soul!



© sashikant mohanty

The Storm In A Train

sitting by the window,
my eyes were misty,
lost in figuring out what lay ahead,
my mind - drained and aching,
and heart - choking,
as the train
tore through the fields,
and the storm grew in me,
i couldn't say
if it was the dew drops,
about to fall off the paddy stalks,
or it's the tear drops,
before they fell over the edge,
under their own weight;
my eyes were fixed
on the golden fields,
that danced to the music
of the train,
yet my thoughts
were stuck,
restless,
as i longed to be back,
to be hugged tight by the one,
to whom i belong

sitting by the window,
of the speeding train,
my mind too away,
in a distant world,
aching,
the hammer of thoughts,
and the clamour in my heart,
too lost,
to hear the blaring of the horn,
my eyes wide open,
yet i couldn't see a thing,
the restless trains that roared,
the endless farms,
the abandoned huts,
thatched, tiled, and concrete,
the barely-clothed kids,
that stood in awe,
of the rumbling train,
that december morning,
as i clutched my heart,
with a nightmare of abandon,
with no roof,
and barely any layers on me,
but for prayers,
as i waited
to be back,
to be hugged tight,
by the one
to whom i belong

sitting by the window,
my thoughts raced
speedier than the train,
to the one,
who always waited,
but never made it known,
to the one
who's nowhere near,
yet everywhere around, 
restless as i felt like the train,
helpless and lonely,
as i waited for that moment,
when she'd melt,
come, and sit by me,
huddle up close, skin to skin,
my hand wrapped tight in hers,
let her warmth, seep into me,
her undone hair spread over me;
my heart skipped a beat,
a smile began to reappear,
tug across the corners of my lips,
at the return,
of the long-missed waves,
and,
as i rubbed my eyes,
and as the world came to a halt,
reluctant to believe,
it was the train, that screeched to a halt,
and wrecked again,
my dream, 
of being hugged,
by the one
to whom i belong!



© sashikant mohanty

Unwrap

unwrap the gifts,
that were once,
gifts of thoughtfulness,
unwrap the chocolates, once,
that have melted,
waiting for you to melt,
unwrap when you are
seated by yourself,
alone in your nest,
and you'll find in them,
a bit of me -
a tiny piece of my heart

unwrap the packets
of diya,
and of blinking lights,
the sweets
and the idols of the deities,
those that made it to you,
with a wish
so no day is dark,
to be around, when i am not,
unwrap when it's dark,
and light a candle,
and you'll never be let down,
by
a tiny piece of my heart

unwrap the pack of bindis,
and the holy threads,
recall the magic they'd spell,
the blessings, they brought,
unwrap when the's sun's down,
under the moon's gleam,
when the fragrance from incense 
wafts through the house,
and you'll find,
a pair of eyes
glinting at your
smiles,
and praying,
and beating quietly away,
in a quiet corner,
a tiny piece of my heart

unwrap the shawl,
the stoles,
and unwrap also the saree
and hug them tight,
pick the teddy,
tuck it close to your heart,
unwrap gently
and let your fingers run softly
over the fabric,
and feel the warmth of
a tiny piece of my heart

unwrap the layers,
over you,
the layers
that have shrouded you,
over the years;
unwrap when you are alone,
and let the winter breeze
slow you down,
and roll back time,
and you'll find,
neatly preserved,
in a safe corner of your heart,
a tiny piece of my heart

unwrap the flowers,
that have wilted,
yet their smell still afresh,
latched on to the memories of you,
and in each bloom,
unwrap,
when you're tucked,
nicely, in the warmth of your bed,
when it's quiet,
and the only sound you hear,
is the shallow ticking of a heart,
be sure, you'll always find me,
waiting to be hugged,
and pecked by
a tiny piece of your heart!



© sashikant mohanty

Even When You Are Not There

even when you are not there,
you wrap me with your thoughts,
you surround me with memories, 
you inspire belief in miracles, 
that gets my heart
ticking again, every single time,
even when you're not there,
there isn't a moment you're not there

even when you don't speak for days,
our thoughts continue the banter,
frequenter than you and i would,
the 'good morning' that starts our days,
me asking if you had tea,
your message checking in on me,
exactly the instant when i thought of calling
'you'll live a hundred years!'
echoing in the ears of your heart,
even when you're not there,
there isn't a moment you're not there

even when you may not be around,
i speak to my loneliness,
what you'd be thinking,
how you'd be smiling recalling mine,
how you'd be breaking into tears,
how your tea cup
would be reminding of another,
how you'd humour me,
when i felt a bit lost,
we keep talking,
i and my loneliness,
even when you're not there,
there isn't a moment you're not there

even when you are not around,
the unruly breeze
pats my cheeks,
and wipes the trickling warmth,
stays with me,
until my heart beats straight,
just like you;
while breathing gets tough,
when the missing tears into me,
you never leave me helpless
alone,
even when you're not there,
there isn't a moment you're not there

even when you are not around,
on late evenings,
when i feel very lonely
or, on sundays,
when even my pillow seems lonely,
your voice rings in a smile,
so what it's from the memories,
even when you're not there,
there isn't a moment you're not there
with me!




© sashikant mohanty