Lilies

 

decked with the winter's mist,

the lilies spring into bloom,

every time i stop by them,

as if they've been waiting,

as if they too have been missing 

the warmth, 

dying for your touch.

they remind of you,

every strand, every wrinkle

every pulse,

that come alive,

the shy smiles that lipped out 

the unworded joy,

as you held out your sketch,

the puffs of smoky clouds

that half hid the sun,

as if everything was about to plunge

into a sudden dark,

as if you knew them coming.

as my gaze shifted,

what i saw, is frozen in memory

your eyes wore a tense anticipation

and, read each blink of mine.

the calm smile,

didn't give away

the drying up of your mouth,

the blood rushing to cheeks,

as you mumbled my verses,

punctuated by a long gaze,

met my eyes, as if to ask something,

'how similar!'

as your mind ruled the heart,

and you gulped the words

but your eyes -

they didn't follow either,

as they melted in mine!

every time,

you found me,

where you came looking,

you vanished, 

as abrupt, as you appeared

like that rare moment of sunshine,

on a winter afternoon,

here now, and gone the next

but you left behind a smile,

and a well of hope

did your lips also curl up 

into a smile, 

as you thanked the small mercies?

little did i know,

how painfully long it's going to be.

the year's gone by,

wonder how long more?

i keep waiting

for the stars to shine,

and your smile to meet mine,

little do you know, my life,

how lonely, it feels here

does it feel the same,

do you also see dreams,

with eyes wide open,

the way my eyes do?

© sashikant mohanty 

Missing

the tides

kept lashing, 

receding farther than the thoughts,

as if to garner a greater force,

they wafted along,

the warmth, the smiles,

the smiles and the smoke,

from memories galore,

the walks, we walked

the talks, we talked

the dreams we dreamt,

the evenings that grew on our watch,

the moments, you and i!

under the starry shamiana,

when the breeze swept in

a faint song from afar, 

humming gently,

ebbing and flowing in my ears,

i'm yours forever, forevermore,

it pierced my heart, and wrecked again,

my weary mind was confused,

who i missed the most,

the decked crescent,

the dreamy eyes,

the quiet smiles,

you, us, or 

the ageless memories!

© sashikant mohanty

Dreams Haven't Changed

the evenings don't age,

the dark doesn't turn me restless,

the breeze isn't friendly,

like it felt then,

the stars don't bounce a twinkle

from my eyes anymore.

the autumn's here,

but they don't shed their foliage,

everything's changed, 

everything feels so cold, so lonely,

but dreams 

haven't changed!

the flowers blush

they don't make me smile,

the way they would then

many moons back,

the train blares and gallops away,

as the sun sinks,

and the crimson dusk

bathes my balcony with sleepy rays

but the smell of smoke

is missing,

hope doesn't light up the flickering lamps,

but dreams 

don't just listen!

the fading sunlight

doesn't get me goosebumps,

the warm sleepy breeze

merges with the dark, quietly

the river doesn't echo the majhi song

my steps are in no hurry,

the birds don't sing,

the way they would, 

with you around,

time's chipped away memories,

the lines on your face have faded

or, was it my blurred sight,

maybe wrinkled, i wondered,

and then,

my eyes refused to open,

my dreams

hadn't let me down!

© sashikant mohanty

Winds Of Change

the morning smells fresh,

like it's been a long night,

it ushers in jubilation,

and rekindles hope

with the triumph of good,

the belief in character,

the hope for a brighter tomorrow,

it's rung in the smell of liberty,

and the faith in freedom,

how free the breath,

as the world rejoices 

the winds of change,

how clear the path

with the storms passed

as the world soaks

in unfettered sunlight,

and dreams, again 

of living in unshackled thoughts.

may hope strike roots,

wish the dreams nurture

in every soul

may the faith be infectious,

to inspire and grow,

may the sunlight reach every home and heart,

light up all souls, all over again,

and to a fresh morning,

may my countrymen awake!

© sashikant mohanty

Golden Plumes

 

the green velvet,

the dense shrubs,

the dry skeletons,

of what once swayed and danced,

all faded before the golden petals,

decked on a bed of lush green leaves,

and, all i remember

they were sheer magic.

as i drew closer, 

and my eyes met hers

everything else seemed to fade away,

all else turned into a sheet of gray,

and then my heart melted,

how royal the golden plumes,

and how fragile, my heart!

© sashikant mohanty

Undream

they keep coming back,

a little each time,

the different moods,

the smiles, the frowns,
the sobs,

and the making up,

the loud silence,

and then both tearing up.

it's tough,

it's tough to undream.

i remember still,

a little each time,

the unwilling hum,

the stealthy side glances,

the choking up,

the scribbles on paper,

the wait-i'll-be-back,

the showing up with
the starched white chunni 

with light shades of pink, 

the shy penciled eyebrows

that melted my heart,

and then the smiles,

that slay me, they still do. 

it's tough to undream.

they come as flashes,

a little each time,

the trains that were dreams

the teary goodbyes, 

that became poems

and those that couldn't,

life's been like the trains,

that met, stood by for a while,

but slid down different paths

longing for the tracks

to cross again.

it's tough 

rummaging through memories, 

breaking bits of me,

was it tough there, for you too,

to undream?

© sashikant mohanty

The Moon Was An Angel

the walk back was long,

a numbing vacuum,

maybe it left a hole in my heart,

i couldn't tell, who i missed more,

the tulips,

or, the hands that held them.

the moon was an angel,

tossed up frames
from many moons back,

i couldn't take my eyes off then,

can't say which was more alluring,

the tranquil moon, 

or, the eyes that tossed her to mine?

be it the tulips of the spring,

or the shimmering moon by the dark,

gulmarg was just divine, 

the unspoilt canvas, 
the pristine nature

heady as the best wine,

i can't reason why i crave to be back

was it the chill, and the pine,

the longing for warmth,

or, for my lady luck to shine!

© sashikant mohanty

A Long Night

the lamp is still burning, 

even as the breeze blows the flame

it flickers, but in no mood to give up yet,

scaring, and spurring hopes by turns

the traces of soot,

a reminder

of the moon's dark spots,

making your frown look tinier!

the playful winds, 

the here-now-and-gone-next drizzles,

the moon's hide-and-seek, so much like you,

they talk to me, just like you.

as i gaze at a star-less sky,

sighing how long more, 

been months, seems like ages already,

though one thing hasn't changed:

they too speak the same language -

silence,

just like you!

there were times, 

and there were many,

when there was a train of dreams,

and not a wink of sleep, all night;

there are times, now

many a night in a row,

i wait endlessly, with eyes wide shut

wishing for dreams to kiss them,

and i wait, for the long night, to pass,

just like, I would for you!

© sashikant mohanty

Anamika

they are not gorgeous as the roses,
their smell, not familiar as the tuberoses,
but they have a sublime charm,
a hop in their dance,
a toddler-like innocence
and, 

a fragile smile to match,
that makes you pause,
to notice the shy pink petals,
on the lush green canvas
and tempt you to bend over,
nurse their tender stems,
and then,
you're blown off your senses!

a breeze wafted through the plants
and they broke into a dance,
and my knees shivered
someone asked its name
half-lost, I muttered
anamika.

but,
did it matter?


© sasikant mohanty

A Sip Of Chhas

 

they sat at the table,

in a quiet corner, 

not even a stir in the air,

the silence broken only by

the occasional glances, 

the teary eyes,

and the lips laced with smiles,

there was a joy in the moment,

and fear and uncertainty, the very next!

she reached for the jute bag,

pulled out the lucknowi chikan suit,

spread the pale yellow embroidered chunni

over her black top, and denims,

curled up her eyebrows inquiring,

how do I look? 

he blew a kiss in the air,

circling up his forefinger with the thumb,

spellbinding!

neither uttered a word,

each fighting the choking,

their eyes turned red,
holding back the obvious urge

both reaching out for the glass of chhas,

maybe to avoid each other's looks,

maybe just a nervous reflex.

they took sips

from the glass of chhas,

in perfect tandem

each head brushing the other's brows,

and eyes too close
to hide the joys and the fears,

there was joy in the moment,

and uncertainty in the future,

the eyes welled up with the fear

and the smiles flowed still,
for the other's sake!

© sashikant mohanty

Little

little,

how little i knew you, 

you make me realise, my life,

everytime i prided my knowledge

little, how little I know you

my life,

the creases on your face,

the beats of your heart.

little,

you opened up, a little more,

when hope almost gave up,

little was the tear drop that oozed

from the corner of your closed eyes,

little, the gentle ray of sunshine,

that escaped your stubborn lips,

to melt on me,

that teared me up, a little.

little,

my life, give me a little more,

a little more warmth, 

a little longer moonlit sky

go a tad slower, so i can bask in the smile longer

draw a little closer, so the breath keeps me warm

be a little gentle, my heart's too weak to break again,

little,

my heart, beat but a little quieter,

time, pause a little, please 

don't let the dream end so soon!

© sashikant mohanty

The Train That Changed Lives

does it cross your mind

sometimes, 

what if you had chosen the other road,

what if you had tried a bit more,

what if you had followed your heart,

what if you had the spoken up,

what if you had listened to your calling,

what if you'd have set your words free,

what if you'd have not hidden the tears,

would the world have been the same?

while i gazed at the moon,

yesterday

she seemed to ask,

where's the moon of my world,

what happened to the smell of smoke,

of soil, rain and the perfume she wore,

why the breeze doesn't give goosebumps,

why i don't wait for her in the balcony,

why i don't pen about her any longer,

would the world have been the same,

had i had not taken the train

© sashikant mohanty

Is It You?

when i gaze into the stars, today,

the chill breeze kisses my face,

the clouds keep rafting in the sky

the piping hot tea still in my hand,

the dew drops are still my guest,

but why doesn't it feel the same,

why don't i feel the warmth?

is it because some fixtures are missing,

is it because the times have changed,

or, is it you?

i flip through the pages,

my eyes no longer get stuck at the same line

my mind doesn't drift any more

to a distant land, into a different story 

carving our own castle,

on a beach where we'd go for long walks,

leaving footprints etched on the wet sand,

only to fade with time,

with shadows merging into one

sometimes ahead, sometimes in tow,

why doesn't my heart race today

why don't i pace up and down, the house,

is the clock tired today,

or is that my heart,

is it because of the times have changed,

or, is it just you?

© sashikant mohanty

Away

away from the loud skyscrapers

and the shy alleys,

i keep looking for me of the distant past,

amidst the small pleasures, 

the prayers i whispered,

the pleadings with the lord,

the soulful songs

the vividh bharti of summer evenings,

the echoing hill songs,

the chill of winter evenings,

the lonely bicycle ride back, 

by the quiet river, quiet as me,

the tiny wishes,

the wish for a small world

for a life of small needs,

a small home, and 

an ounce of love.

away from the chaos and the races,

my soul still weeps

at partings, and parting songs,

my heart still aches,

watching simple gestures weaved with love,

i still lose myself

in slow songs,

caught in a strong gush of thoughts

I still look for a slow life, 

where i can build castles 

with sand and wishes,

that last only as long as the thoughts.

away from myself,

i crave for a different world,

of not the stars, but a star among them all,

of a gentle breeze,

of a soft humming of leaves,

of soothing chirps from mynas,

and a song that flowed through

the still evening,

of unhurried ticks of the clock,

with me, waited the world,

for a touch that'd inspire hope again!

© sashikant mohanty

Are You Really The Almighty?

hey Lord, what sham of justice is this?

when the devotees stay behind masks,

but you must be unmasked,

the judges stick to their homes,

but you must step out, today.

come out of the wood,

see how much you're one of us, Lord!

see how the prince and his courtiers

didn't spare even you,

see how they played with words

you're now part of the men, their poltics,

you are no longer everyone's Lord,

how can one's faith be bigger than the other's

under your watch?

hey Lord, what sham of justice is this?

who gave man the right

to judge you, Oh Lord?

nobody even asked what you wanted,

makes me wonder again

who is the creator, who the created -

God or man?

© sashikant mohanty

A Year Of Missing

the clock hasn't ticked 

even once,

for a year,

leaving an eerie silence,

a silence that's louder than death,

almost telling the missing.

it used to tick,

relentlessly, refusing to rest,

just like you, Bapa

but now it lay motionless, 

for a year, now

as if too tired to get up

just like you, Bapa!

our stories 

broke off suddenly, 

incomplete, 

without us prepared for it.

my hands still try to reach out to you,

so often, Bapa,

to call you,

to share little joys,

or, when life is unfair.

your words were powerful,

so were your silences,

when tears built up,

heart turned heavy, or feet were tired.

when you'd wave from the gate,

hiding your loneliness,

and your desires,

Bapa why didn't you ask us once,

drop even a hint,

to stay longer,

and we'd have gleefully obeyed.

why didn't you give a hug,

why didn't you spend

a bit longer,

before that last time we left?

you haven't been away

even for a moment,

a single day, the entire year,

just that you're missed

a bit more, today,

just that eyes became moist,

a bit more, today.

© sashikant mohanty 

Watch The Tears

if you wanted to know the real her,

stop looking for the smiles,

if you want to read her feelings,

go, watch the tears!

© sashikant mohanty

Two Roads

two roads branched out 

from where i stood,

one led to your home 

the other to your heart.

i flipped the coin,

for i had to choose one:

one had a timer, counting down

and the other, timeless!

© sashikant mohanty

The Lap Of My Dreams

sometimes,

the azure skies tugs at my heartstrings.

sometimes, 

the timeless horizons beckons.

sometimes,

it's the pristine velvet that my head craves for.

but always,

it's your lap, that my dreams long for!

© sashikant mohanty

Mirror

when i asked the mirror, 

why this gloomy face today?

she flipped the question back at me

have you ever seen me lie?

when I smiled at the mirror,

she tossed the smile back, 

but asked,

since when have you

been hiding things from me?

© sashikant mohanty

The God Among Men

There's A Message

there's a message,
in your smile,
even more telling
in your tears,
it cries out loud from the void
in your portraits,
it's sketched  
in your walk,
brutal,
when you talk the talk,
gentle,
when you walk my walk,
and heady,
when you just stop
to steal a look.


there's a message
in your silence
warm and fervent,
as your touch.
lights up in a flash
as your eyes meet mine,
it's etched
in your unfastened tresses,
comes alive
in every untouched canvas,
it's scribbled
all over my skies, my eyes
as sleepless I lie,
there's a message
in the emptiness,
even if it's long
since i received one!


© sashikant mohanty

The Promised Land

the state was locked

but the crowds swelled

pregnant women,

sunburnt men

skinny kids 

on father's shoulders, secure, 

torn bags and gaping bottles 

that hung on to their backs, 

they were broke, but did not break.

they marched on

for their homes

that they had left long back

with hopes of 

the promised land.

with deep wrinkles 

etched into their faces,

even the last drop of sweat 

had given in to fate,

with woody faces, 

and brows smeared with dust,

and sunken eyes,

they dragged their feet,

and fought their minds,

blisters, sore backs and forced a smile,

few fighters, many brittle 

some that rested on rail tracks,

to never wake up

from another dream of

the promised land.

the big men and their folks,

in swanky attire, sharp and smart

stepped out into the terraces

of their ivory towers,

they also swelled, 

and cheered on,

for the warriors, 

blew conch shells,

waved flashlights,

clicked selfies,

and giggles grew,

as deals were inked,

and the glasses clinked.

their bags also swelled,

and they marched on and on

and the bards sang "hail the prince",

for ringing in 

the promised land!

the chopper whirred,

hovered above the sea of men,

they pinched,

thought the Gods were moved,

and gazed into the dust soaked sky,

as scorched fields would 

at sailing clouds.

their hearts pounded faster.

to match its roar,

it commenced the shower,

and they ran for them, 

only to find flowers, 

not even an ounce of grain.

it swerved, tore into the skies again

hope cheated, left them in pain

how it robbed the children's smiles, again!

the shadows got longer,

the steps heavier,

as one dream set, 

another rose,

and, weaved hopes again of 

the promised land!

© sashikant mohanty

There's Something To Be Grateful For

there's something about the lockdown

to be happy about,

share a meal with loved ones,

take a sip of piping hot tea,

listen to the birds' songs in the balcony,

soak in the first drops of rain,

bask in memories of the smell

of rain kissing the parched fields,

enjoy the rainbow, 

before it faded in moments,

have a hearty laugh over 

how silly you behaved as a kid,

share pictures of lip-smacking dishes 

on whatsapp

there's something to be grateful for!

there's something about the lockdown

to be glad about,

the caravan of cars that inspire dreams,

the stories that the kids narrate,

mr. bean, peppa pig, 

krishna and chota bheem

the relentless chatter, 

until they blabber into sleep -

makes me wonder sometimes 

if they too were family.

there's a twinkle in their eyes,

a spring in their steps

as they lead me out 

to watch the full moon in glory,

and when they offered the broken binocular 

they made me wonder 

how they didn't miss the beauty of the moon,

despite the clutter,

there's something in them that inspires me,

and lights up hope once more, 

when heavens seem to fall apart.

there's something there to be grateful for!

there's something to cheer about -

having food on the table, 

and the choice of homemade desserts, 

so what if the stepping out has stopped,

sipping black coffee on my deck,

so what if I don't get the fresh brew 

of starbucks, or coffee day.

i teared up watching the families,

bracing for their fate,

walking for days,

smeared with smoke and dust

dried lips, empty stomach, sleepless nights

unsure where they'd get the next bread.

now, will you tell me

isn't there a lot to be grateful for?

© sashikant mohanty

Until We Meet Again

they lit up our eyes, then

as we'd rush for a game of cricket,

in your courtyard,

where winning or losing didn't matter.

the memories light up still,

one by one,

the huddling up 

over paper rockets,

the fear and the fun

of listening to the rains, 

hammer the asbestos roof,

pelting stones at the mangoes,

and gathering the trophies,

the excitement over the kites

and cakes,

where Christmas was not fun

without sharing a bite!

the flash in your eyes

didn't change with time,

they twinkled as would do stars proud, 

they sparkled like a child's,

were deep, as deep can be,

as you pulled out the pictures 

of your angels 

from your wallet.

how times change in a moment,

now the pictures 

would be yours,

and the wallet theirs,

the memories yours,

and the tears, theirs!

as you leave,

your time well spent, 

you leave us with memories

the bond, the love and the hugs,

the frames of a face 

laced with that smile,

etched so deep

to fade with time.

the smile that hid the pain,

the endless banter,

the time that we can't get over,

keep smiling, 

and, keep watch on us,

until we meet again,

the other side!

© sashikant mohanty

जीने की अन्दाज़ है

आप जिसे शायरी करके पेश कर ते हैं,
वह हमारे लिए ज़िन्दगी जीने की अन्दाज़ है

The Train Was A Storm

she held the cup in her hand,
the warmth distracting the unworded looks
that said more than they didn't.
wasn't it every day?
that day was different,
she sat in a train that'd take her afar,
and the storms raked behind those smiles,
unsure when she'd share again
the tea, the warmth, and the smiles!

she waved her hand,
mirroring his,
the gesture, emotionless
words lipped out,
seemed like a whisper
drowned by the whistle,
as the engine spewed clouds of smoke,
and the train clanked out of the station,
her head bent to get one last look
of the starry eyes,
that'd be her strength
for days, weeks, maybe months!

she clutched the chocolates,
leaning against the window
her chin not seeming to mind
the dust, and the rust on the iron,
her mind was numb,
unable to choose -
to cherish the moments,
too recent to be called memories,
yet too far to be hugged,
or, brace the loneliness ahead.

the train was a storm,
that day,
and the tides pounded her heart
the craving, the urges, the longings,
as the smile faded on her face,
and the tears, dried on his,
with her lips curling up,
she let her hair down,
whispered
am I missing him?


© sashikant mohanty

Nowhere

it's an endless evening,

as hours rolled by,

staring into the dark sky,

dimly lit,

between a few thousand stars,

that hung in there,

but the warmth?

nowhere.

it was an unending moment,

another evening,

when you sat right there,

and i could feel your breath,

but the warmth?

nowhere.

that was a long night,

even for several hundred dreams,

so what, if I saw them,

my gaze unshaken,

set on the creaking fan,

not once did they blink,

with sight blurring,

but eyes - too tired for sleep,

and the warmth?

nowhere.

the moon tossed in the skies,

blushing at times,

half veiled, behind the cloud,

i shivered,

i cried,

i smiled,

the scent tugged at my heartstrings,

like you were right next to me,

but, i held back,

as I opened my eyes,

and the warmth?

nowhere!

© sashikant mohanty

x

Steal My Smile

it's an endless evening,
as hours rolled by,
staring into the dark sky,
dimly lit,
between a few thousand stars,
that hung in there,
a whisper on lips,
and hope etched on hearts!

it was an unending moment,
another evening,
when you sat right next to me,
but the warmth,
nowhere.

that was a long night,
even for several hundred dreams,
so what I saw them,
my gaze unshaken,
set on the creaking fan,
not once did they blink,
with sight blurring,
but eyes - too tired for sleep!

the moon tossed in the skies,
and beamed a smile,
blushing at times,
half veiled, behind the cloud,
i shivered,
i cried,
i smiled,
the scent tugged at my heartstrings,
like she was right next to me,
but, i held back,
unsure,
what if her smile
meant her heart missed a beat, like mine,
what if
it was to steal my smile,
maybe rob my heart!




© sashikant mohanty

The Song Of The Quiet

the evening was calm,

the dark made it feel quieter,

the breeze that melted me up,
and drifted me to a distant world,

my senses almost turning numb,

as if everything around slowed down:

even time wasn't in a hurry,

the wall clock's ticks

were the only sounds you could hear,

unhurried, 

maybe tired, 

maybe a rest long overdue!

the air wore a sweetness,

gentle, soothing, and silky

a new muse, you'd missed so long,

the sweetness you'd fall for,
all over again,

the air hummed softly, 

only a willing heart could hear,

a beat for a beat,  a call as if in love -

that brought back memories

of the setting sun,

the ringing of the bells

from the retreating carts

the smiles on the dry, pan soaked lips
yet smiling frames

and the dancing silhouettes 

played hide-and-seek

maybe tired, 

but in no mood to give up!

the evening grew chill,

and the skies darker,

the winds became gustier, 

like the summers

from eons back

as the crickets chirped and the frogs barked,

i loved them all, 

the song of the quiet,
the chill, the pace and the peace

slowed me down, 

yet raced my heart, sometimes
the ebb and flow,

a bit of fear, and then a glimmer of hope,

until the mist drops of the early hours

faded the smile,
as i opened my eyes,

as i sat in my balcony, gazing at the starry sky,

listening to the song of the quiet

with the wall clock's ticks,

the only sound you could hear,

unhurried, 

maybe tired, 

maybe, the rest long overdue.

© sashikant mohanty