You'll Find Me Everywhere

you'll find me everywhere,

you look for me 

and where you least expect to,

by the seas, 

where the surf and the salt kiss you, 

where the waves remind you 

the inseparable bond between the sea and the shores,

how they lead two lives, yet share a single soul,

you'll find me in the hills, as you soak in the freezing air,

reminding you of the times when your palms were frozen, and you were drenched in cold sweat, and then found your soul in mine

you'll find me everywhere, under the bright blue skies,

as they bring to life the blue skies of our lives,

and under overcast sheets, 

when you crave the sliver of sunshine;

under the starry skies,

when the moonlight wraps you warm, 

a reminder of the times when

life and love bloomed, wrapped in warmth, under the moonlit evenings,

that draws you to me, every time you are lonely, broken or lost,

with only a lone string of hope, 

that runs only to me you'll find me everywhere around you, on the wall of your room, where promises were made, 

in your mirror gazing into you,  where you see me in you,

in the temple, and your puja corner,

between the jagannatha and the ganesha portraits, 

every day,

and on their special days,

asking what you got, and what you gave,

in the diya and the flowers, 

as you offer prayers, 

in the evenings and the mornings,

and every moment in between you'll find me everywhere next to you,

as you lie sleepless at night, 

under the sheets,

and when you close your eyes in prayers,

you'll find me around,

at daybreak as you open your eyes,

reminding you of the blessings and prayers, 

that once started your days, 

when you had given up, or there almost you'll find me everywhere,

around you, show up, be there, feel every pulse and every thought, even before a word slipped your lips, appear like when you had looked for me, and as you hold the pen, 

reminding of the script that god had penned,

as you swing your bag onto your shoulders,

reminding of the burden i had carried for you,

as you take a sip of lemon tea,

you'll find me in you, 

reminding you of the ginger tea that you owed,

and the biryani too you'll find me everywhere,

in every breath, 

in your eyes, making your vision blurry, 

as you do the mascara on your eyelashes,

as you apply the kajal,

you'll find me in the sudden oozing of tears,

as your eyes turn wet from moist,

you find me filling your heart,

you'll find me pressing your forehead, 

as you lie sick and tired,

cracking your knuckles,

a light massage on your back,

when they hurt,

reminding you, of the times you had seen and through all this, we'd been,

and the healing, you owe me still you'll find me everywhere,

you'll hear my prayers when you sob,

and when you're broken, 

and want me, like you never did,

you'll find me in your blood,

tracing each vessel in you, 

and in every drop of tear,

you'll feel me,

in every corner of your heart, 

and every edge, every surface, and every void 

of your soul! you'll find me, everywhere,

that your sight can stretch, 

even if you shut your eyelids tight,

wherever you go, 

whoever you are with,

whichever world and path you choose,

you will find me, and yet long for me

you will find me everywhere,

even if i'm not around,

and long after i'm gone,

and when you look for me when i'm dead,

the 'i'm sorry' will be too late and will not bring me back, 

but you'll still find me everywhere,

under every horizon,

wherever you look for me, 

and even where you least expect to! © sashikant mohanty

The Difference

the difference
is like chalk and cheese:
when he heard her sobs,
and felt her fears and her pains,
and learned of the storms,
the unannounced quakes and
the unruly tides,
he gathered himself,
dusted himself off,
turned numb to all his pains
and the stabs that were still fresh,
and gave his sweat, blood
and prayers
all to wipe her tears
and to put the smile back on her

but
when the breeze changed course,
and she heard him cry,
heard his tears, and his fears,
learned of his pains,
and, saw him bleed,
all she remembered
was
only her own happiness,
and
left him talking to himself,
or, gave the gift of her roaring silence,
of artful excuses,
a few dressed up words,
and kisses
with her sharpest knives

the difference
was like chalk and cheese:
on seeing her
broken and helpless,
he read the unlettered need,
moved the mountains
and rushed across seas,
to be her rock,
sweated and prayed,
the farthest he'd ever been,
didn't let her even break a tear,
stayed up night after night, so she could sleep,
knew even what she'd think,
and stood by her until the storms passed,

but
when the storms
came upon him,
when shaken, he stood,
he stood by himself, lonely in pain,
broken and helpless,
none to feel his fears,
and not her even to hear his words,
as they
slipped in and out of her ears,
let alone remember
how he'd become his rock,
she instead became a stone,
and
she even forgot
how her life was rocked,
thrown apart, and she feared
would be uprooted,
dreaded her karma coming back, 
when he slogged and prayed,
with unwavering belief,
unconditional love,
and lived her life and fears,
every moment, every day, 
to change even destiny's way!




© sashikant mohanty

Let's Trade Places

i have comforted you always,

your pains are mine,

my happiness yours, forever,

and you believed me

you believed my words,

pains became mine,

and happiness returned to you,

and, you firmly believed me

you took my words seriously

thought pain is my name,

and happiness yours

and how nicely you believed,

i've earned my pains

and you have, your joys

how about we trade places

and for once, would you say -

your pains are mine,

my happiness yours, forever

© sashikant mohanty 

The Last Repartee

am i welcome still,
she asked,
when were you away, he chirped,
that you need to be welcomed back?

why is it that you missed me so much,
when i was away,
she rambled,
tracing her fingers
through his unkempt hair.
i didn't miss you, just then,
i missed you even
when you were right next to me, 
i miss you even right now,
as my soul longs for the meteor shower
as his index finger traced her face
from her ear
over her cheeks,
down to her neck

what did you see in me
to fall in love,
she quizzed,
peering into his eyes,
as if seeing him for the first time ever,
a deep breath, he sighed,
cautious not to let out the groan
building in his lungs,
and feigned a naughty smile,
where could i see, when i was blind
in love

how could you trust me so much, 
she quipped,
how could i not trust my soul,
the words tailed off
as his eyes drew a blank
and then just froze forever,
his gaze held hers,
as a lone tear oozed
from both



© sashikant mohanty 

Let's Settle Our Accounts

come, let's settle our accounts,

you've been asking for this,

and i long owe you too,

and must close before i'm gone

come, let's settle our accounts,

settling is closure, 

and closure we owe each other,

before death do us apart

settling our accounts, we must,

as that's what you've always wanted,

and have often reminded,

every time you buy me things
in return for my love

​settling our accounts, we must,

but is this 'settling' -

my spotless and selfless love 

with the bruises, you kissed me with,

the pains and angst, i endured

with the trigger you pulled,

my blessings and prayers
with your curses,

my blind love, 

with your half-truths and white lies, 

my unshaken belief, and trust

with your daily potions of drama,
and breach of trust,

​the years that i added to your life
(and your world's)

with the life that you knocked from my years?

settle our accounts, we must

but is this how you 'settle' -

the hell you've left me in,

for the heaven, you got through me,

your unkept promises,

for the unpromised love i lived, 

the stabs you punched my heart,

for your heart's pains that i swallowed, 

your deceit and the masks,
for my trust and truth,

the peace you robbed my nights of,
for the nights, that i stayed up for you,

the fears and nightmares you gifted
in exchange for your fears and nightmares,
that my love and belief saved you from?

come, let's settle our accounts,

as this is long overdue,

bring out your notebook,
as the list is too long

the same one,
where you'd penned the verses,

of the huge tsunami
that had left you scared,
and shaken,
and thwarted to uproot your world,
of the god you had seen,
how it brought back the memories
of the god of the bygone years,

the big lessons you'd learned,
and the finest things you'd noticed in me,
and the huge promises you'd made,
to be there
when our roles are swapped,
wrap your soul with the same chunni
this time,
for which you'd asked me
for a 'new pinch',
come, don't shy away seeing the list 

​come, let's settle our accounts,

you always wanted this, 

but bring along your soul
this time,

and polish your memories too,

the frames of the storms,

and of the lone pair of shoulders
that you found
whenever you had sought,

bring along, the depths of your heart,

that had torn into pieces
and had cried,

and the breath of relief,
you had sighed,
when you had found the heart
you needed, 

while everyone that mattered was around,

and yet none around, that mattered then,

bring along the teddy of love,

that you'd saved from eons back,

who still remembers the moments
(even if they elude you)
when love first visited you,

and have stood the test
of time and tide,
bring along the sacred thread
and your hand-cooked banana pancake,
they smell fresh like
the dawn after our first love, 

come, don't shy away seeing the list

come, let's settle our accounts,

the cruel joke is on us,
one kept on giving,
never for a return,

and the other showing up
when it's her turn,
one a giver even when broke,
the other endowed, yet ridden with debts,
not a hundred lives can repay,
insists on settling, yet shies away,
and still knows how again to find her way

come, let's settle our accounts
but would you trade

the storms, you've wreaked on my soul

for the soul, you had found in your storms?

© sashikant mohanty

Life Is An Endless Enigma

life is an endless enigma,

where the flower doesn't know

the beauty of her being

on the one who gets drawn to her,

she doesn't realise

of the magic she spells,

she doesn't even know

that she has an aroma,

and how she's so uniquely blessed,

and how her beauty, scent and colours

come to life

in a stranger's soul, eyes

and life

life is an endless enigma,

where the breeze doesn't know

she rings in a soothing relief,

that she brings life back

in the one gasping and

almost given up,

she doesn't even know

that she wipes the sweat and the tears 

from an unnamed's brows and eyes,

and is blissfully unaware

how she never gave up

being the welcome breeze,

in the life of the one who longed for her,

in that stranger's soul, eyes

and life

life is an endless enigma,

where the moon doesn't know,

that she makes the day,

of the one longing for her

beaming in her gentle light,

straight through the cracks of the heart

of the one who's lost in the dark,

and the ways she healed

and how she heralded the rainbow,

in that stranger's soul, eyes

and life

life is an endless enigma,

where the soul doesn't know

where its home is,

as it wandered the streets, the lanes

and the alleys,

on land, sea and in the skies,

not knowing 

where its warmth and smiles 

came from, and thrived,

and longed to be home,

it doesn't even know

how its path is preset to be home,

in that stranger's soul, 

that stranger's eyes,

and that chosen stranger's life

© sashikant mohanty

When I Die

when I die,
please don't cry,
my body can't feel your pain,
i can't feel your tears, then
i won't be able to wipe them,
you know how helpless i am,
when i'm not near,
and you cry

when I die,
don't wish me goodbye;
partings and farewells
are so tearful,
i know they may be
somewhat teary there too,
like they are here,
though you've hardly let me see,
and i hate it
and am so helpless,
when you're alone,
and you cry

let go of me please,
before i die,
i don't know if it'd be painful,
but at least, I'd be there,
in case it hurts,
my shoulders, and cheeks
can soak, and comfort your tears,
at least, I won't be helpless,
when you cry

when i die,
do wear the black suit,
you'd look your prettiest in that,
i know you've saved it
for a special day,
i've longed to see you decked up,
and have been ever so restless.
wear the black suit
on that special day,
there won't be another, after that,
as a bit of me would be hugging you,
and i'd feel less helpless then,
when you cry




© sashikant mohanty

You Are Delicate

you are delicate,

yet, you are tough inside,

you are fragile,

and still, you're an icon of resilience,

you get into the grooves of the roles you play,

yet you rock, like there's no tomorrow

you are deeply emotional,

yet, you never get your eyes off reason,
you are left-brained,
and you excel with your right as well,

you're fiercely unbiased,

yet you take sides with truth,

you are composed,

and yet, they envy your cool, as well,

you always have your head above shoulders,

but never forget where it must bow

you are enduring,

yet, you know where to draw line,

you're an adorable teacher,

yet, you've been a lifelong learner too,

you are a doting mother,

but a tiny daughter all the same,

you are the eldest,

and yet, you're the littlest princess

you are deeply caring,

yet, a part of you craves that hug, all the same,

you can carry a mountain in your heart,

yet, a tiny word is all it takes for the eyes to erupt,

you've bared huge storms,

yet, you've learned to dance in the rains,

you fade in a crowd like a feather,

and yet, shine like no gem has ever!

© sashikant mohanty 

They Were A Purpose

they were a purpose

to one another,

one was tough outside

but had a tender core,

the other a fragile face, shining eyes,

yet was made of steely grit

they were a purpose

to one another,

one was loud,

but child like,

craving for attention, and care,

the other, ready to tear up,

but, as generous to wear her smiles,

truly, always a mother of care

they were a purpose

to one another,

tired, as he'd return from work,

he'd be met with fresh hot rotis,

and his favourite dishes,

as if she lived on his palette

as if she read every breath of his mind,

as she'd pamper with several rounds of tea

they were a purpose

to one another,

tenderly sowed and raised the three of them,

sony, neena and pinkuli,

like blooms in a nicely manicured garden,

hiding their fears, pains and longings

as they bided time together, waiting for them

they were a purpose

to each other,

one with a

tough exterior and a tender core,

the other a smiling and easy to cry, 

but a steely core,

warm and welcoming to everyone,

and owning up the world

as their own

they were a purpose

to one another,

tied always in a knot, wherever they went

like soul strings,

the tea being ready,

the very instant he'd be looking for it,

maybe why he missed the tea,

while she was ready, 

for she knew, when he was due,

likely why, he rushed back home,

as he knew, she'd be waiting, 

and for long he had longed,

to pay her debt!

© sashikant mohanty

The Unexplored

every corner of you,

which i touched, and reached

was unexplored, and unseen,

ever before

every part of me,

which you touched, felt and you met

was untouched, and unbeen,

ever before too

the difference was in their unfolding,

the soul i tended, was with untamed love

even you had kissed mine, many a time,

but the untamed knives got sharper, every time

the difference was what they did to us,

in one's touching, you saw god,

but in the other,

i met satan, and a living hell

the differences shook even the stone,

in one, there was priceless love,

but on the other,

was written the price of love!

© sashikant mohanty