The Difference

the difference
is like chalk and cheese:
when he heard her sobs,
and felt her fears and her pains,
and learned of the storms,
the unannounced quakes and
the unruly tides,
he gathered himself,
dusted himself off,
turned numb to all his pains
and the stabs that were still fresh,
and gave his sweat, blood
and prayers
all to wipe her tears
and to put the smile back on her

but
when the breeze changed course,
and she heard him cry,
heard his tears, and his fears,
learned of his pains,
and, saw him bleed,
all she remembered
was
only her own happiness,
and
left him talking to himself,
or, gave the gift of her roaring silence,
of artful excuses,
a few dressed up words,
and kisses
with her sharpest knives

the difference
was like chalk and cheese:
on seeing her
broken and helpless,
he read the unlettered need,
moved the mountains
and rushed across seas,
to be her rock,
sweated and prayed,
the farthest he'd ever been,
didn't let her even break a tear,
stayed up night after night, so she could sleep,
knew even what she'd think,
and stood by her until the storms passed,

but
when the storms
came upon him,
when shaken, he stood,
he stood by himself, lonely in pain,
broken and helpless,
none to feel his fears,
and not her even to hear his words,
as they
slipped in and out of her ears,
let alone remember
how he'd become his rock,
she instead became a stone,
and
she even forgot
how her life was rocked,
thrown apart, and she feared
would be uprooted,
dreaded her karma coming back, 
when he slogged and prayed,
with unwavering belief,
unconditional love,
and lived her life and fears,
every moment, every day, 
to change even destiny's way!




© sashikant mohanty

Let's Trade Places

i have comforted you always,

your pains are mine,

my happiness yours, forever,

and you believed me

you believed my words,

pains became mine,

and happiness returned to you,

and, you firmly believed me

you took my words seriously

thought pain is my name,

and happiness yours

and how nicely you believed,

i've earned my pains

and you have, your joys

how about we trade places

and for once, would you say -

your pains are mine,

my happiness yours, forever

© sashikant mohanty 

The Last Repartee

am i welcome still,
she asked,
when were you away, he chirped,
that you need to be welcomed back?

why is it that you missed me so much,
when i was away,
she rambled,
tracing her fingers
through his unkempt hair.
i didn't miss you, just then,
i missed you even
when you were right next to me, 
i miss you even right now,
as my soul longs for the meteor shower
as his index finger traced her face
from her ear
over her cheeks,
down to her neck

what did you see in me
to fall in love,
she quizzed,
peering into his eyes,
as if seeing him for the first time ever,
a deep breath, he sighed,
cautious not to let out the groan
building in his lungs,
and feigned a naughty smile,
where could i see, when i was blind
in love

how could you trust me so much, 
she quipped,
how could i not trust my soul,
the words tailed off
as his eyes drew a blank
and then just froze forever,
his gaze held hers,
as a lone tear oozed
from both



© sashikant mohanty 

Let's Settle Our Accounts

come, let's settle our accounts,

you've been asking for this,

and i long owe you too,

and must close before i'm gone

come, let's settle our accounts,

settling is closure, 

and closure we owe each other,

before death do us apart

settling our accounts, we must,

as that's what you've always wanted,

and have often reminded,

every time you buy me things
in return for my love

​settling our accounts, we must,

but is this 'settling' -

my spotless and selfless love 

with the bruises, you kissed me with,

the pains and angst, i endured

with the trigger you pulled,

my blessings and prayers
with your curses,

my blind love, 

with your half-truths and white lies, 

my unshaken belief, and trust

with your daily potions of drama,
and breach of trust,

​the years that i added to your life
(and your world's)

with the life that you knocked from my years?

settle our accounts, we must

but is this how you 'settle' -

the hell you've left me in,

for the heaven, you got through me,

your unkept promises,

for the unpromised love i lived, 

the stabs you punched my heart,

for your heart's pains that i swallowed, 

your deceit and the masks,
for my trust and truth,

the peace you robbed my nights of,
for the nights, that i stayed up for you,

the fears and nightmares you gifted
in exchange for your fears and nightmares,
that my love and belief saved you from?

come, let's settle our accounts,

as this is long overdue,

bring out your notebook,
as the list is too long

the same one,
where you'd penned the verses,

of the huge tsunami
that had left you scared,
and shaken,
and thwarted to uproot your world,
of the god you had seen,
how it brought back the memories
of the god of the bygone years,

the big lessons you'd learned,
and the finest things you'd noticed in me,
and the huge promises you'd made,
to be there
when our roles are swapped,
wrap your soul with the same chunni
this time,
for which you'd asked me
for a 'new pinch',
come, don't shy away seeing the list 

​come, let's settle our accounts,

you always wanted this, 

but bring along your soul
this time,

and polish your memories too,

the frames of the storms,

and of the lone pair of shoulders
that you found
whenever you had sought,

bring along, the depths of your heart,

that had torn into pieces
and had cried,

and the breath of relief,
you had sighed,
when you had found the heart
you needed, 

while everyone that mattered was around,

and yet none around, that mattered then,

bring along the teddy of love,

that you'd saved from eons back,

who still remembers the moments
(even if they elude you)
when love first visited you,

and have stood the test
of time and tide,
bring along the sacred thread
and your hand-cooked banana pancake,
they smell fresh like
the dawn after our first love, 

come, don't shy away seeing the list

come, let's settle our accounts,

the cruel joke is on us,
one kept on giving,
never for a return,

and the other showing up
when it's her turn,
one a giver even when broke,
the other endowed, yet ridden with debts,
not a hundred lives can repay,
insists on settling, yet shies away,
and still knows how again to find her way

come, let's settle our accounts
but would you trade

the storms, you've wreaked on my soul

for the soul, you had found in your storms?

© sashikant mohanty