Of February and Fairytales

The night, the moon, and the dark evening skies
There's something about them,
Can't tell if it's their charm, or the surreal link to my life
That draws me to them, every single day.
Had some guests join me yesterday during my walk
The stars that came out in hundreds
And lent an unusual sparkle to the February skies!

The breeze, the smile and the hum of a folk Kannada song
That played on the speakers by a makeshift stage,
Brought to life memories of yesteryears
A sketch from a fairy tale,
Of puppet shows, shiny costumes and a dim lit castle.
Here, I was lost in my fairy tale
Welcoming the spring, flowers and life
As they swept aside the gloom of the dry leaves,
Under beams of golden moonlight!

The train chuffed in without a haste
It didn't bark at the cattle and the men that lazed on the tracks,
Seemed like even she enjoyed Bangalore skies, yesterday
The whistle was soothing music, that melted away smoothly
Into the breeze, the night, the moon, the starry skies
And the dim lit fields across the lake!

© Sashikant Mohanty

Every Evening Has A Story!

Most of the call you kept silent, 

Even as I waited to hear something.

You listened to everything, including the unsaid words,

Even the pauses in between,

And cleared your throat, trying in vain to hide

The voice that was getting choked.

Why didn't you just let me hear your tears

If words were too precious!

Every evening has a story,

Memories of that evening still get my voice choked

Even today!

"Good night" - is all you uttered,

At the end of the last call, that evening.

So what if I had to settle for just those two words

They were enough to keep me up, rest of that evening

Maybe a few hours, weaving dreams with you

When your voice came through from the distance

"Are you still awake?"

Why didn't you just stay on the call then,

Even if that meant my settling for your silence!

Every evening has a story,

Hearing your voice long after I thought you're asleep

Painted the story of that evening!

That evening was too special, 

I get goosebumps thinking of it, even now

We spent the evening in your balcony

Steaming ginger tea from our cups 

And the short quiet gazes keeping us warm.

You didn't utter a single word

As I kept chirping, to your eyes delight

Though you kept turning them away from mine!

A strong gust of breeze forced the curtain into the room

And the stack of paper went flying all over. 

As I gathered them from the floor

Your handwritten verses popped out of one sheet,

They still give me goosebumps, 

As I reflect - your eyes hadn't lied that evening.

Every evening has a story,

The blush in your face as you stepped back into the room

And the tears that yelled "Take me along with you"

Didn't belong to just that evening, it's the story of my lifetime!

The memory of the day is still fresh in my mind, 

The soft soothing breeze was so welcome

Didn't make it feel summer had arrived

And you wondered

How we had cycled up the same streets and gallis

Had gupchup from the same hawker,

Spent hours at the same library, 

And even prayed at the same temple.  

Your eyes lit up at the thought 

How our paths had drifted so close, yet not crossed

Lost in the thoughts and words, you blurted

"Why didn't you come into my life earlier?"

Every evening has a story,

Mine was etched for life, that evening

Why didn't you come into my life earlier!

© Sashikant Mohanty

Spring's Flowers

When the yellow gulmohars and trumpets

Begin to blossom, and usher in spring,

The park oozes a poetic charm,

And brings back a faraway memory,

Of another February afternoon

When you had waited for me, in the garden

The Sun pierced through the golden canopy,

And a few rays barely managed to reach you, 

Rendering your hands warm,

As I craved to be with you

A thousand miles away. 

Spring had arrived, 

But, it failed to ring in the spring

Of our lives!

When the gloomy clouds piled up,

The strong winds joined in, to brew up a storm,

And the thunder screamed a warning of rains,

It sent a shiver down my spine,

Like the other day, when rains had battered the streets,

And a flooded city stood between you and me.

How you whispered the prayer, a hundred times,  

For the train to be late,

How I longed for a parting hug,

One last time!

But why was nature so cruel

When the engine blew the horn 

And dragged out of the station grudgingly, 

You were not around to wipe my tears!

When I look out of my balcony at the dry branches,

I notice the dried leaves on the ground below,

There isn't a waft of breeze, 

I can't feel the fragrance in the air, 

Neither hear the music of birds,

Like, the days I dread of,

When I'd be lying on my cot,

Gazing out of my window,

At a moonless sky,

Without a stir in the breeze,

Your fragrance missing

But a ticking sound that felt like your heart,

I couldn't be sure

My brain too numb to reason.

I smile away at the memories

Or maybe, the dreams

Of your hand locked in mine, 

Under a canopy of spring's flowers

Not realizing 

When I doze off into a long peaceful sleep!!

© Sashikant Mohanty

Diary of My Father

Sometimes,
I want to break free of the steel frame
Play with sand castles to my heart's content,
See them break,
Then bargain with my father
For those two minutes, so I could re-build.
And, he patiently waited for an hour
Not complaining, not asking me to rush
Through building my castles.
Did you not have a headache that day, Bapa?
Didn't you have to go to vegetable market, ten miles away
To save that extra five rupees?

Sometimes,
I want to take a ride on your bike
Have you in pillion,
So I could listen to your stories
Of the journeys, the pains, falls and the bruises
That shaped the steel that is you, today.
I want to join you in the village farm
Watch your eyes glow with passion
As you water the plants
So, our future isn't filled with the pains
That you had to go through!
Did you not long to go on holidays,
And enjoy your life as well?

Sometimes,
There is a strong gush of thoughts in me
To visit memories of another day
Follow you out of home to work,
And watch you, from a distance,
As you toiled those long unending days
With unmatched spirit
Long after the sun went down
Even after the office guard gave up
And cycled out in the dark.
You gave life to your work, behind the scenes
So as to give us the good lives
All, for that smile that lit our lives, then
And right to this day
Were you not tired, doing this day after day, Bapa
Did you not need rest, ever?

Sometimes,
I tear apart completely
Between the desire to be with you, father
And the want to be the good father.
Between spending time with you,
Listen to your stories
And creating memories as a father
Telling our stories, stories of a father
Those, that my children would cherish long after.
Between the desire to keep that line of tears away
From your eyes,
And the need to keep the smile
Intact in my children's lives!

Sometimes,
I want to take a walk
A long walk,
Where I could listen to all your stories
Your best kept secrets
When you'd also share the pains,
You went through for us,
When you could lean against my shoulders,
Let go the tears
That you kept away from us,
When you could tell me
How scared you were of our failure,
Or how scared you were
When I boarded the train alone,
The first time without you with me,
Or, how you wanted to hug tightly, and hold me back
The feelings that you hid behind your smile
As I left home to join my first job!
And maybe many more things,
That you've held away from us
So that we live a good life,
All for the smile that you wanted
Intact in our lives!



© Sashikant Mohanty