Steep in efforts, as I tried to gather sleep,
much as everything, or everyone, it played hide-and-seek
I forced no further, guess I didn't want to lose it for good.
A swarm of thoughts sway across,
me picking out each tenderly and giving them space to grow.
- None had time for me
not you, not the sweet smiles, the infectious dreams.
Have I not been left alone often, with me?
maybe often without.
I wish I could reason the lustrous dreams, decked up expectations.
The pages of my diary are blank, they always were.
I never realised I'd ever need them, to remind me of good days
for the soothing thoughts, that you clothed me about assuring tomorrows
and hope that we dressed of each morning-in-waiting.
The days seem so barren, living greater grouse
as life rolls slowly by - worn, resigned to loneliness.
Hope is motherless, deserted as it stands
waiting to be picked, owned up, held to be hugged.
Where's the light dear, why does the chill not bite you any longer
have we been turned blind, or someone rent us comatose?
Wake up, love, shake the sleep off
to assure me of the habit that is you.
It's tearing pain to be dead when told you're still alive!
© Sashikant Mohanty
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